WHAT DID GOD SAY TO ME THIS MORNING

When my alarm went off at 5 a.m. this morning, I opened one eye and raised my right arm to tap the button on my phone, which was sitting on my nightstand. I used my voice to tell Alexa to stop. For some reason, my praise and worship music isn’t my alarm anymore, but it changed to this beeping sound. Note to self: fix that.

When the sound ceased, my head hit the pillow. I actually snuggled deeper under the covers as if I wasn’t going to get up. I closed my eyes and I smiled. I knew I was not about to sleep late today. It’s Wednesday. My daughter has to be at school at 7 a.m. for Jump Rope Club, and Prayer Service at Word of Life Church starts at 9 a.m. I knew I couldn’t snooze. But I still laid there as if. What got me up wasn’t all the things I knew I had to do. The thought that got me to swinging my feet to the side of the bed was “somebody needs my prayers this morning.” That thought of someone depending on me, gave me all the energy I needed to get up.

When I got in the prayer closet, so many thoughts tried to flood my mind. Thoughts of my family as we grieve the loss of my Uncle while simultaneously planning his homegoing celebration. Thoughts of things I am assigned to complete before 2019 is over. Thoughts of my kids taking more benchmark tests today and passing. I mean so many thoughts.

I prayed, but I felt weak. I felt like I wanted to cry but I didn’t want to. I needed to pray for those who don’t know Jesus. I needed to pray for those who know Jesus but don’t have a real intimate relationship with him. I needed to pray for missionaries. I need to pray for the violence and shootings in my city to cease. I needed to pray for my brother to answer the call on his life. I needed to pray for my family to be strong. I needed to pray all these prayers. I knew I needed to pray in the Spirit so that the prayers could be perfect and not me just muddling through. But I couldn’t seem to get there. I just knelt there in the floor trying my hardest to do what I knew I needed to do. Tears started to flow down my face and I even tried to toughen up and still pray. But nothing was coming out except, thank you Lord. I was now crying full out. I heard myself say, “Lord I just want to please you in my prayers this morning. Even though I don’t feel like it, I know I need to pray. Use me anyhow Lord, no matter how I am feeling this morning.”

But I kept on crying and not praying like I normally do. I was waiting for the prayers to just flow out, but they didn’t. I felt like I needed someone to pray for me right then. I didn’t want to be selfish and pray for myself. That didn’t even seem right. I mean I pray for myself, but when I come in the prayer closet, I know that it’s not just about me. I am on my assignment to pray for others. But I was the one who needed prayers. And that’s when I said, “Lord, help me to receive the prayers that are going forth for me right now! Help me to receive prayer. Lord, anything blocking me from receiving ALL that you have for me, remove it right now in the name of Jesus.” I kept on saying this over and over as I cried hard. “Lord, help my reception struggle.”

As I prayed this, I began to feel the weight being lifted off of me. It was as if the Holy Spirit had blasted through some kind of brick wall and all of the relief was flooding over me. I felt the release. I felt the prayers that others have been praying for me. I felt your prayers this morning, and I am so thankful that you are praying for me.

It made me realize that I am always so focused on praying for others that I have neglected to receive the prayers that are going forth for me. I have received so many messages of prayer since I shared about my Uncle’s passing. But I wasn’t receiving them. They were being blocked, but today, I received all of them and I am so thankful to each and every person who has interceded ON MY BEHALF.

It’s a lesson on receiving that the Lord has been teaching me for the last several months. I am a giver. I love the fact that I am a giver. But in order for me to give more, God wants me to learn how to receive. I can hear the Holy Spirit right now saying, “I have so much more for you, but you have to be open to receiving it. It’s okay to be in a posture of receiving Fon. The same way that I use you to give, I use other givers to bless you to receive.”

I recently told a friend that my love language is definitely not gifts. This morning, I realized that the reason why is because I had a block on receiving. I used to say things like, “I don’t like surprises.” Or when someone complimented me, I would say, “oh chile, I got this for $15 on sale.” And even when people said I am praying for you, I would thank them but not internalize that they would be waking up, swinging their legs to the side of the bed, and pushing through their own feelings, to get on their knees to pray to God on my behalf. WOW! Just saying it really helps me to receive that others are doing exactly what I am doing. I am someone else’s assignment!!! WOW!! WOW!! WOW!!

Again, thank you for your prayers for the pray-er. Thank you for your encouraging words for the encourager. Thank you for the gifts for the gift-er. Thank you for the support for the support-er. Thank you!!

I RECEIVE THEM ALL IN FULL!

Hearts & Hugs (I receive yours too)

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SALVATION PRAYER

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